My freshman year English honors teacher (in high school) threw us a British high tea-themed party once, and she brought smoked salmon sandwiches she had made herself. I can thank her for many things (including being incredibly kind and supportive after coming off two years of bullying in private school), but introducing me to smoked salmon is probably the thing I’ll always think of first when I remember her.
My parents went out to celebrate Father’s Day by eating at our favorite Hunan restaurant last night (I was absent, having been happily spirited away to Internet Meme-land, thanks to Sarah and LOLpera), so they brought back some leftovers.
(To clarify - Hunan is a province of China that is known for, among other things, its ridiculously spicy cuisine. Ridiculously. Spicy. Warning sign #1.)
So my dad calls me from work this morning to tell me of said leftovers in the fridge, which I happily planned to eat for lunch. Dad then issues this dire warning: “Eat as little of it as possible.”
Apparently he and mom had eaten a lot of it (with much huffing and puffing and downing of ice water) and ended up with burning mouths and upset stomachs. (“It was a terrible idea for Father’s Day,” he said. Warning sign #2.)
Well, with me being me, and with the food smelling rather delicious instead of roaringly spicy when I took it out of the fridge, I put a healthy amount of 辣炒辣 on my plate to reheat. (Warning sign #3: the Chinese name for the entree I ate literally translates to: spicy fried spicy. Or spicy fried spiciness. Whatever makes sense to you.)
What. A. Mistake.
I’ve spent the last 20 minutes downing a bottle of orange juice, a bottle of iced tea, and finally some yogurt.
Don’t get me wrong - the food was amazing.
It was also (and still is, 20 minutes later) mouth-numbingly painful. My eyes were actually watering as I was taking bites of the food and then shoveling rice in to dampen the pain. I think I’ve exfoliated my lips by eating this food because it vaguely feels like I just burned some skin off.
So the lesson is: beware Hunan food. (And listen to Dad, he’s right about things like this.)
1. Picked up dad from the airport
2. Eaten a lot of good Korean and Taiwanese food
3. Cleaned up my room (after months of apathy)
4. Fixed up mom’s computer and broken Momiji doll
5. Started a blog about boba/milk tea (nothing’s up yet, but I got some milk tea today and so I’ll post pictures later…also the title’s a reference to me being a derpy Sherlock fan, harharhar)
6. Survived my first ever jury duty week…without ever being called in
Basically all of my favorite fruits in one drink…!!! I thank the genius who decided that peaches, oranges, mangoes, and apples should all be mashed up into the ultimate fruit juice of all fruit juices.
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